How to Make Wildly Irrational Decisions
This week, I closed down my online coaching business.
My creative baby.
It’s been 4.5 years, with hundreds of clients, and multi-six-figures income.
Yet I could feel that it was time.
To many people, this would look like an irrational decision.
And it was!
But I trust our deepest intelligence - our gut, our intuition, our unconscious, our feminine.
The way I see it, there are two ways to make decisions.
1. From our rational, logical mind - I call this your “masculine” mind.
It’s the decisions that make perfect sense, that you can explain WHY clearly, while weighing pros and cons.
2. From our intuitive, emotional, spiritual soul - I call this your “feminine” mind.
These are the decisions that make “no sense”.
That seem “out of left field”.
That may feel crazy.
Yet, there is deep wisdom in this feminine side of you.
For me, I want to create a magical life where I dance with the great mystery….
Play in the unknown…
…and am surprised by what the universe has in store for me.
A life where I am lit up, turned on, following my heart and passion.
You too?
A life like that requires making decisions from your feminine mind.
How do you make these feminine-led decisions?
I’ll share a bit about how I came to my decision, and walk you through how you can come to your own wildly irrational decisions.
1. Notice who you’re judging - that reveals shadow desires.
A week or so ago, my friend posted that she is going to be a stay-at-home mom.
No working, no striving, just being with her baby.
“Pshh I’m happy for but I could neverrrrr do that.” I said vehemently to my husband.
“I’d feel SO trapped and bored. Yikes.”
There was so much intensity in my reaction, that I started to get curious.
Wait a second - does a part of me envy her and maybe want a bit of that too?
See, I know now, inside every intense judgment, there lies an (unconscious) desire.
For example, if you’re super homophobic, maybe you’re actually secretly curious to explore your own sexuality.
Or if you think polyamory is the devil’s arrangement… maybe a part of you is craving that forbidden freedom.
Or if you think Instagram influencers are so vain and silly… does a part of you yearn to be more influential in your life?
Or if you despise filthy rich capitalists… do you secretly want more money in your own life?
This can be shocking to our identity and our egos, which have a carefully constructed of who we are and what we value.
Desire doesn’t get a f*ck about that.
She is wily and wild and challenges you to be soooo much bigger and bolder than you think you are.
So first question - who are you judging? What can you learn about yourself through this?
From my friend’s announcement, and my reaction, I realized I may be (secretly) craving more time to just be present with my baby and do domestic things like cook for my family.
Which was shocking to my ego, which has always prided herself on achievement and creating worldly success.
I always thought I wanted to be like the next Tony Robbins or something - climbing the coaching ladder and bringing home the bacon.
So, to admit that I may crave a bit more “housewife” energy…
That maybe more success and money and impact ISN’T what I want right now…
Oooo that is a scary one.
1. Look at what you admit when you’re truly relaxed.
Over the weekend, I got my nails done with my another friend.
As someone massaged my head and my feet, we were laughing and talking about - “If you could do anything in the world, money aside, what would you do?”
I confessed, “I’d run retreats, and in between, spend lots of time in my garden with my baby.
I’d do more on climate change - find inspiring start ups to fund and give grants to powerful non-profits.
I’d make art. I’d have lots of long unstructured time in nature.”
As I spoke I noticed what we missing in this dream - namely, lots of time of social media, coaching online, and hustling to do big launches.
Hmm… interesting.
I relaxed further into the massages and conversation.
See - relaxing is key.
When you’re in fight-or-flight stress mode - you don’t have access to your deeper, body-based wisdom.
You’ll find yourself in your head, thinking and analyzing (aka being in masculine) vs. landing in your body, sensing and feeling (aka being in feminine).
So the next key to making wildly irrational (feminine-led) decisions is to relax deeply.
To make space to drop the thoughts and listen.
To feel your body.
To sense the subtle currents of where your attention is magnetically drawn.
1. Trust what creates aliveness in your body- tears, goosebumps, shivers, etc.
Then, on Saturday night, I was out to dinner with James, sharing about these thoughts with him.
All the sudden, I burst into tears.
“I don’t want to coach anymore.”
It was so clear.
I got goosebumps all over my body.
My belly felt soft, relaxed, open.
The tears kept rolling down my cheeks.
My body had spoken.
Every time I feel this much sensation and emotion around a decision… I trust it, deeply.
I felt like this when quitting my leadership consulting job.
When moving to Bali.
When saying yes to marrying James.
So now I know - body sensations can be a compass to a life that is wildly mysterious and magical.
Your body sensations may be more subtle - a tingle down your spine, a clenching in your heart or gut, a shiver in your genitals, a closing in your throat, etc.
Notice and track these.
They reveal sooooo much about the emotional texture and tone of the decision you’re making.
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These 3 keys are a roadmap to revealing your deeper desires and calling.
Notice…
Who you judge - and what it reveals about your hidden desires.
What you admit when you’re deeply relaxed.
What creates aliveness in your body.
I guarantee - you’ll be surprised by the results.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I always feel good about the decision - my mind will kick in, tell me I’m crazy, I may start second guessing myself.
But when I do?
I remind myself that I can trust the feminine.
I can trust my deepest desires.
I can trust my body’s wisdom.
She always leads me home.
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So I’d love to hear from you - what is a wildly irrational decision that’s calling to YOU right now?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
Comment below and let me know :)
Xoxo,
Megan